welcome to tao eternity community.

A little bit, or a lot, about me and my TAO ETERNITY brand and centre of healing to wholeness, alignment to Soul.

So I came to know by leaping. That is the only way I came to know how believing I could be and how supported I was.  But I had to do it from a place of my worth.  Not the place of the wound.  It had to feel stable, this is how we know. We act, intend to act, and there are no strong negative emotional flows. And I had to be able to hold it.  The frequency consistently, otherwise the manifestation would dissolve because I wasn't matching that frequency consistently enough. There can't be any holding energy. Holding attachment energy stops the divine flow of abundance that brings all things to you.  You have to come to this place where you are like, I just know miracles happen.  

I would let go of relationships 90% feeling aligned and a week later higher appeared. I’d let go of small apartments and misaligned work to then a few days later be offered a big house and garden with all the things I'd wished for, to the very detail. 

The feeling I am protected only occurs as a natural byproduct of being willing to go into all of your shit and take leaps of inspired action. Visualise the Fool leaping off a tall cliff with nothing but a white rose in his hand.  Things in your attic, in your basement.  All of the elephants in the room that you might have oppressed with your avoidance. FYI ignoring energy is as powerful as attention

Only ignoring is pushed energy and attention is pulled. Pushed energy makes ignorances bigger, not better!  And radical honesty married with radical compassion is required big time. It sounds like ‘I own all of the ways I gave my power away and outsourced it, with compassion for the wounded child in me, who believed that decision was keeping her safe.’ Because before when they let out their magic full throttle as a child they were misunderstood, ignored, ostracised, rejected and judged. 

As a child I made a choice to make a prison for myself of magic but I let it weep into my adulthood for far too long. I created this fantastical but real world of magic that I held in my aura, in my imagination, and I lived within it. I attracted magic everywhere I went. I kept on refusing to admit my bigness. For many of us there is a deeply conditioned fear of our own power. As children we learnt to adapt, compartmentalise our medicine for the world, and comply within the environments we were born into. As adults this adaptation can become normalised. “I’ll do the best I can within a set of circumstances.” Rather than the Soul knowing, which is “I create the ideal.” This is the protector of your exiled parts speaking. The devotional work as an adult becomes undressing that, pouring the best medicine into the worst wounds. Giving love, giving attention, making new choices, and observing the protector loosen their grip.

Smallness, modesty, mediocrity, conformity, this is mostly what we were taught. Blend in, don't cry, Shh be quiet, don't be silly. In private settings I would let it out full power, uncensored, no dilution.  Letting it out publicly became my nemesis and greatest challenge. I felt the power I transmitted though just in being me, the me that was empty of herself and fully permitting of spirit, universal thought to speak through her. And it's powerful. It changes lives, it changes perceptions.   But I am merely the vessel.  This is our greatest power, when we simply clear out, make space, heal the wounds one by one whenever we have the strength to do it.  Different medicine for different wounds for different moments. 

Then we allow each relationship to teach us, heal us, see ourselves, grow, learn what feels positive and what does not. When we grow strong in our self love capacity we become able to categorically say no to everything that does not feel aligned or acceptable.  And we always reach a point, often after repeat lessons although not necessary, where the line is drawn. The point of no return where we choose, above all to honour our bodies, honour our souls, honour what feels better, honour our values. And as we do we radically change our magnetic point of attraction. 

Who knows why we often leave it until it really becomes a painful pattern.  Only God knows.  But there always comes a pivotal moment where enough is enough.  Enough of the relationships that sting childhood wounds, that reaffirm unworthiness, smallness, and diminish our light. Enough of experiences and work and environments that make the body contract and agitate. Enough of making decisions based on logic and a perceived but distorted sense of what's ‘safe’ when the heart is calling to rule. Enough. They have a powerful word in arabic,  "خلاص"  ḫalāṣ. It means that's it, done. It refers to freedom, completion, and release.  I release all that no longer serves me and I choose to stand in my soul. 

We were taught the illusion of unsafety.  Ambulance and police sirens, fearful media messages, endless transmissions of scarcity consciousness. 

We were taught that speed and exertion equates to productivity. We were taught to fight and compete for positions of presence.  We were educated by reward and punishment so that our own sense of divine authority, if we weren't strong enough, was minimised. We were encouraged to believe in separation, countries ostracising and isolating themselves after hurt, people shielding after painful experience, some emotions being encouraged whilst others considered to be outrightly shameful.  And so we dimmed, felt shame, suppressed emotions, held our thoughts, held our feelings, blocked the life force energy to our bodies. We desensitised to our souls and intuition because we disconnected to our bodies truth. And the pain we held recreated patterns. Held emotion equals held pain, equals recreation of that pain in life because it gets carried in the body which is vibrational. And you attract that which you vibrate.  

So the only sure fire way through and out into freedom that I know of is by release, surrender and attention.  Release of the pain, release of the repressed emotion that has stagnated in your organs and tissues, and fascia, taken home in the particles of your energy field. You have to breathe new life in there, and new life can only enter in the let go, in your permission to surrender. And what I know for sure, for sure, for sure, is that life will take you there anyway.  So you might as well go in there gracefully. Go willingly.  It's less disruptive that way. When we are soft, accepting, admitting of what we feel and fear, even the stuff that feels too painful to reacknowledge, especially that stuff, then our life changes, our energy shifts, we are in flow.  We are not treating the present moment as something to escape, but we are strengthening our trust and enabling our own surrender and dissolution back into love. 

Everything must leave so only love remains. All the fears, all the doubt, all the self destructive habits, all of the repression. 

The rest unfolds and reveals naturally. The forgiveness, the self acceptance, the self esteem, the belief, all appears in the liberated space of the pain and limited belief holding excretion. So if you want to feel so alive in your body that you stand in awe of life force energy every day, and believe me it is possible, to feel orgasmic and fully alive most of the day long, then you have to clear out the sewage. We were designed to feel fully alive, to return to this remembrance. We were created out of orgasm. It is our natural state and birthright. 

The journey of awakening has no urgency. It can be a long and winding road. It has taken me seven adventurous years to feel bold enough to bind to my soul and say “I’m here to teach magic!” That is my career and my carriage. Our souls are our chariot. And I wouldn’t change any of it. Although I might not have said that at the time!

But to appreciate the process we must learn to trust the process intimately.  All of it, not just the pretty parts. There are multiple blindspots along the way, the path often disappears and reappears. Calling us each time into deeper trust. Calling us back into our hearts.  Asking us to see the wisdom, deepen our understanding about something, express what is alive in us in that moment without foresight. Release what is not serving us, insert healthy boundaries away from unhealthy relationships. 

For a long time I diluted my words and behaviour as I observed my wildness, outspokenness, truth, and expression shine a light into shadows and repeatedly offend others. But all darkness seeks the light. What is unconscious asks to become conscious and it does this through experience. The shinier a mirror you become the more your light will both inspire and trigger.  

What I know now is that both are necessary.  Opposition builds opinion. It's (r)evolutionary.  The offense is you pushing up against a part in another, which is shared by both of you, that is simply asking for reclamation and reintegration. What I'm saying is, allow it all. Embrace contrast. We were taught ‘us and them.’ The ego loves to distinguish, judge and separate but there is only one unified field of consciousness. What you attract is a part of you too. 

Don’t tone yourself down or censor yourself because of fear. What pushes away one person will intimately invite another person that IS ready for you. Triggers are a portal into awareness of something that needs healing.  The most powerful thing we can ever do is create a stillness of holding and witness for that trigger.  Sit with the emotion of it and watch it dissolve. 

Experience will always show you what you hold in separation in your mind. The invitation is always acceptance.  In acceptance, everything shifts.

Life never tests us, it simply mirrors us back. Even though the reflection back can be difficult to see and experience, it is simply light inviting you to both see your light, and transform your shadows. So what we see is always us in some form or other. A belief we hold true, a pain that is buried, a judgment that needs cleansing, a repressed part that needs expression.

If you don't slow down to listen, life will slow you down to invite you to listen.  Force never works. Pausing to permit deep rest and reflection brings the revelation.  Depending on external experience before you feel a feeling creates dependence to that thing. Whereas the subtle but oh so powerful shift comes in making choices that initiate that feeling first. We can actually convince the body of anything, when we are open enough to, before it actually happens.  We can choose specific memory recall, we can choose specific patterns of thought, we can focus our energy intentionally. We are the initiators of any and all change we wish to see in our lives.  This is your reclaimed creator energy. You are not at the mercy of life, you are the powerful co creator with it. Even the messes you create are done so with your power, and trust me, I made a LOT of messes before I realised this.

If this truth can really land with you, you will start to see life's challenges and pains in a new way. What hurts you kisses you and opens you up for more of it all. If you allow it to. The pain cracks your heart open so that you can live in deeper parts of your humanity, more heart open than before the pain.  It is a deep paradox of life. Pain is not a punishment, it is actually a procurement of your return to TOTAL freedom. 

If we brace against pain we shield against the beauty and the potentiality of deep feeling and experience in our lives. We shield against the magic that is possible and that life is waiting to offer us in the deshieldment. In shielding we live a half life, a seemingly safe life, but not a full life. We cannot avoid pain, it is a part of the human experience. I say this as somebody that slowly watched her Dad die over years in her youth, then created the dissolution of a long term relationship, immediately after her beloved cat died, and THEN because I held this pain so tightly in my masculine side I was attracted to a REALLY abusive relationship.  This was the point of radical change for me.  We all have them.  And we all have the choice at that radical point.  To see how we gave our power away in order to reclaim it, to own it and distill the wisdom, or to believe that we were being punished, or we are weak, which FYI is never the case. Again, life is simply a mirror. 

I have always believed in my soul, that good enough is never enough.  That we have to remember how to live with all that we have and are.  One of the most powerful questions I asked, and often re ask myself frequently and it drives me to deeper exposure, is: “Am I delivering all that I am in this moment?” It's a powerful readjustor. Living with all that we are isn't a slog, but an effortless pour out of our being. Uncensored, potent, concentrated, volume up, fearless, empty with spirit moving through us.  Zero to apologise for, shameless expression, intense sexuality and creative power. We are limitless beyond the limits that the mind likes to place. There are no bounds but the boundlessness can feel as scary as much as it feels beautiful.

We weren't taught to live by the situational and spontaneous nature of the heart.

We were mostly taught to find safety in rigidity not supplety. 

But true safety is living in our souls.

True safety is found in surrender.

True safety is found, or rather remembered, in our supplety to allow life into and through us.

Love is in leaping.

Love is in trust.

And we need to feel strong to leap into love. Togetherness is what fosters this strength. We all have our stories and histories, but none of it defines us. It certainly doesn’t define our worth.

And observe this. Whenever you have leaned into a fear, have you ever felt the fear once in it?  NOOO! Because it is an illusion of the mind. The situation perceived as fearful, once you are in it just BECOMES situational and you navigate it, live through it, experience it and chart it with the strength and tools and aliveness that you have and are. 

and here you remember your power to govern your life. You see your strength.

There can be so much fear to work through and step into.  Fear Fear Fear. Which actually simply means to risk. Fear of perceived regulations, fear of perceived external authorities, fear of not having enough or being provided for. Which can lead to impotency away from co-authorship of your life with the mirror Universe, and working harder, and burnout penduluming. More tiredness, more negative emotion, more looping timelines and feelings of the same old sh*t that doesn't feel truly alive in your soul, thinking how do I get off this merry go round?!  That was me.  I call it the sh*t spiral. And that loop has to be cut. I have created secret tools out of this spiral, and honestly I tell you, my most powerful magic I hold in my soul now, was born out of the most dire situations of my experience. The sh*t actually shows us our inner resource. Which we have infinitely, even when we might perceive we are at ‘bottom.’ Strange old thing this human life of endless paradox.

I don't know about you, but I came here to scale the mountain of endless peaks of my desires. To step by step activate by inspired action. To show up even when it feels emotional and difficult. To dream vision things into being and to indulge in magic every freakin day. Because that's what we were made for. Without earning, in the traditional sense, but by becoming an offering of love. By emptying myself again and again to be filled with spirit and gusto. 

And in the treasured words of Whitney. If life (AKA us) leads us to a lonely place. Find your strength in love. 

My morning mantra daily is SPIRIT PLEASE MOVE MY EVERY MOVE.

I have started an inventory of all of the things (probably not all but a starter set) of the ways that I STOPPED doing life to start feeling the blessings of the divine in my life and remember my power as co creator. 

I stopped:

√ Staying in or around relationships that depleted my energy, where I felt undervalued, unseen, misunderstood or disrespected.  This respect for myself changed my point of attraction radically. No to unacceptable is yes to your soul.

√Giving entrance to my body and soul where dynamics were dysfunctional (these affect you at an atomic and vibrational level and affect all other manifestations in your life.)

√Saying yes to things I found to be unacceptable.When you say I am worth more, this internal shift will be reflected back to you in your life. 

√Going for immediate reward (temporary but misaligned pleasures) over delayed gratification. Instead I anchored into my soul worth and integrity, delaying gratification for higher alignment. Which FYI always comes after you say no to misalignment. You have to be strong. 

√Going so fast and forcing and started indulging intentionally (rather than passively) in pleasure and rest to receive alongside inspired action. I leant back so that spirit could lean in. 

√Being aimless and saying I'll just go with the flow, and started consciously creating the flow with my will. We were taught “I need does not get” but this is a falsehood. You have to ask to receive it.  You have to intend and define to experience anything. The more defined you are, the more definition will be reflected back to you.

√Making choices based on external feedback and started tuning in instead. Close both eyes and ears and see and hear with the others. 

√Stopped forcing alignment and started feeling it.  Forcing alignment is what feels tiring.  Getting intimate with the blocking or limited beliefs and held pain is what heals it.

√Ignoring the feelings I felt and instead acknowledged them as the temporary truths and guidance into alignment that they always are. Emotions are essentially neutral beyond the narrative meaning you might give them.  Even words for emotions are arbitrary in many ways. Becoming a river is your superpower. 

√Rejecting the present moment as it is. It is impossible to be in acceptance (aligned with wholeness, healing and totality) whilst rejecting anything from your experience. Acceptance creates alchemical shifts quickly. 

√Stopped getting stuck in thought loops and emotions and shifted to allowance of flow.  Instead I started focusing my thoughts and moving my body to raise its vibration.  What you allow into your field is key here. People, environments, sounds, media, food, everything is vibrational and affects you and your magnetism.

√Denying that I cared when I did.  Pretending not to care is not the same as actually not caring. I eradicated the word should from my dictionary entirely. If you feel it, then feel it. And then it will dissolve. I admit when I'm angry, scared, disappointed, desperate, feeling needy. No emotion is shameful, they are all a holy part of our wholeness. Without feeling we can not heal into wholeness. 

√I stopped doing it all alone and dropped the hyper independence which was stressful anyway and is as wounded as hyper dependence.  I got a life coach and got support weekly. When you invest in yourself you invest in life and create flow.  It says I'm worth it and this investment will come back to you. (when you pay somebody else and say I value you and your service, you essentially pay yourself and say I value me too. They are a part of you and what goes around comes around. ANY holdings slows down flow state to varying degrees.)

√I stopped avoiding the shadows and bravely went into them.  That which is attended to in love dissolves back into love.  But always balance it with pleasure and joy.  All work and no play, however devotional, makes Jack a dull boy. 

√I stopped isolating in pain and started sharing in my human pains which softened me. Total vulnerability is total protection and it touches people. Every person ahead on their healing journey is ahead precisely because they went through their sh*t. That's HOW they got there!

√I stopped making reactive choices from the place of quick fix it from the wound and instead anchored into my truth.  What excited me, energised me, felt most alive for me and showed me where I felt most in my power.

√When I stopped believing I could live on two timelines at once, and realised I had to let go to let in. Release to rise. 

√I stopped looking for my purpose and started being, realising this was my purpose. We were imprinted to believe in hard work, endurance, archetypal stories of suffering, but these are OLD stories. And it is a myth. You don't have to work harder, you just have to let more of yourself pour out into the world. Ease creates flow, ecstasy is magnetic, space and flexibility enables you to receive. 

So this is what my life's work is all about from now on, and it's a living library. My resource is my soul and it's a fountain. 

I’m stepping out of my ‘safe’ work now and always and into my ‘safer’ soul mission, sourced and serious. Not serious sensual, sensitised in service. 

Ten months ago I met a human that changed my life. We have been dancing together in one way or another ever since. He recently said to me that he would enjoy my physical presence close to him as a source of inspiration but, what's curious is, it is his presence in my life that has reconnected me with my deep heart and enabled me to touch and align with my strength that was always there. I was energised in his wilderness all those months ago, and in being so reconnected more deeply to mine. He has lived in such integrity for all of his life, never once succumbing to fear by doing something that felt misaligned. And it took him, he took himself, into exceptionally brave and naked conditions. He has taught me the true meaning of integrity. The true meaning of standing in your soul no matter what. 

I stand now firmly in my heart, because he helped me open it up. 

What I know as an absolute truth is, that we don't do this alone, we can't do it alone. And we don't need to.  It is not about reliance but healthy interdependence and interrelation.  We probably could survive alone and struggle through everything but since we don't have to, why not fill each other up. It's much easier that way. We see ourselves, through each other and heal most efficiently this way. 

The power of a whole community has the potential to be indomitable. 

Working (*and by working I mean co creating, playing, pausing, devotionally exploring) with me is an intimate and empowering process that will support you in coming back into your sovereign power, fully connected to your source of life force energy to co create powerfully with the Universe from a place of deep healing. With deep wisdom in how to manage strong emotion, alchemise pain into power and understand the quantum nature of our reality.

If you are ready for that then welcome to my wide container space, Earth Spaceship. A bridge between Stars and Earth. A place of VERY grounded spirituality. I am here for you on your journey.

You will be held in your highest vibration everytime that you enter my digital and or literal on land spaces so that you can activate and touch places and spaces of your subconscious and being that you are ready to touch.

In love and deep service 

More to come and keep coming soon.

Joanna